Dark Solstice
by Martin79
Summary: Willow and Tara investigate the disappearence of a girl from their college Wiccan group


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Dark Solstice

By

Martin79

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Rating: PG-13 (Contains one F/F kiss)

Feedback: Any would be helpful. Contact me at mthompson79@hotmail.com

Distribution: Would be brilliant but please ask first

Main Characters: Willow and Tara 

Background: This story is set between Seasons 4 and 5 

Disclaimer: All _Buffy_ characters copyrighted to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy etc. All originals copyrighted to the author. One piece of text is taken from the episode 'Hush' written by Joss Whedon.

Author's Note: with thanks to Lysa-UK and Dege for their support

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Daughters of Gaia student meeting, Stevens House, UC Sunnydale – 16th May 2000

"We come together, the Daughters of Gaia, sisters to the moon. We walk with the darkness; the wolf is at our side. Through the waterfall of power to the blackest heart of eternity. I open this meeting and would like to proceed to the first item on the agenda. An important item which I believe will bring much debate." 

"Ooh, are we making gingerbread witches again?"

"Did you say something, Sister Rosenberg?" 

"No, Nicole. I mean, Sister Allen."

Tara squeezed Willow's hand tighter as they both giggled at the remark as Nicole carried on with her opening speech. Around 15 girls were sitting together in a circle of plastic grey chairs in the main hall of Stevens House. In the centre stood Nicole, a tall 22-year-old woman with long, curly, flame-red hair. She wore a long lilac dress covered in flowers and had a small crystal on a thin brown cord around her neck, which was partially obscured by her hot pink clipboard. The clipboard was held close to her chest while she led the group into a debate on precious stones and which outfit to accessorise them with. 

Willow looked across the room, just 5 chairs down to see another girl giggling and smiling back at her. The girl caught her eye and turned away, looking back up at Nicole with a straight face in an attempt to listen.

"Who's she?" Willow whispered to Tara.

"I think her name's Solstice, she's been coming here a couple of months now," Tara replied.

"Oh, I've never seen her before."

"She never says much and anyway you've been busy with Adam stuff which, which is cool."

"Hey, I'm sorry. Don't worry, you have me all to yourself from now on," Willow smiled at her.

"Sister Rosenberg! Sister Maclay! Will you please can it!" hissed Nicole, turning around to glare at them in hushed tones.

"Sorry, Sister Allen, ma'am," Tara whispered.

"Hey, I can speak when I want. This is a democracy, y'know." protested Willow 

"Not while we are holding one minutes silence for Sister Eastly," Nicole hissed back quickly.

"Sister Eastly?" Willow looked around with a puzzled expression waiting for someone to provide her with the information.

Tara came to her aid with a quick whisper "Christine Eastly, remember? She was a member of the group until she went missing two weeks ago."

"I will continue then unless you need a photograph too," Nicole snarled. 

Willow looked flustered and dared not open her mouth to reply.

Nicole continued "Spirits of old please help Sister Eastly to find the light and rejoin us. Give her the strength to fight her demons in order to return her to her sisters. Aid her in this her hour of need and keep her safe from those that would wish her harm," she then lit a candle and passed it around the circle while each girl whispered a prayer of hope.

After half an hour the meeting finished and the group dispersed to their various destinations in a hurry. Tara picked up her bag, put on her coat and almost left Willow behind, still slumped in her chair starring into space.

"I'm a terrible person. Really, I have a soul of Elephant Man-like ugliness. Christine could be dead and I talked though her service. She could be injured, killed even, killed by a vampire, demon, werewolf or robot or, or a man, who, could be possessed by a hyena or something. Or a bear, a really big bear. Boy, there sure are a lot of ways to meet the big man upstairs around here" she rambled, almost in tears.

"Sshhh, sweetie you're not terrible" said Tara, sitting back down and trying to comfort her, "you didn't know and everyone slips up. Are you ok? You seem very edgy, is it the moving in? I mean it's been a couple days but…"

"No, no, baby, I'm fine with it. There's no one else I'd rather move in with, except… perhaps Snoopy. It's just…"

A shriek came from over the other side of the room and the girls both looked over in unison to see Nicole arguing with one of the male students. The man was just taller than she was and quite well built. His shock of short, curly blond hair complimented his smooth skin and pastel coloured clothes. A distinctive gold bracelet hung from his wrist, looking the most extravagant piece of his wardrobe. 

"What's going on?" Willow asked breathlessly.

"This jerk keeps hassling me. She's not here, Sister Green has just left, I suggest you follow her and stop hassling me!" Nicole shouted at him.

"I don't wanna talk to her anymore!" he answered. "I just wanna know whether I can be a part of the group."

"No men allowed," she shrieked back. "We take our power from the mystical goddesses of the heavens, a male presence would only disrupt the circle and input negative chi into the atmosphere, they…"

"There are male gods too, I could take power from Zeus or…or George Burns," he protested.

"That's odd," piped up Tara. "Hey, that's Christine's bracelet, look it's got her initials C.E engraved."

"That's my name. I'm her brother, Chris Eastly," the man snapped, wrenching his wrist away from Tara and everyone else's gaze.

"Chris and Christine?" questioned Willow.

"Yeah, my parents weren't too big on original names, _Willow_" he said with an air of sarcasm, "or original gifts come to that, must've been two for one day at Wal-Mart. Anyway I have to get to English." 

"Ok, that was so Christine's bracelet," Tara said anxiously once Chris had hurriedly left. "The nameplate was silver but-but the chain was gold. She told me she had to replace it once after a link snapped. It so has to be hers." She spoke faster and with more confidence than normal, filled with glee at her little discovery.

Willow turned to Nicole and ushered her to one of the seats. "Do you know that man? He seemed pretty pissed that he couldn't join, that can't have been all he wanted?" 

"That pig showed up here a couple of weeks ago looking for Sister Green."

"Solstice? What's she got to do with him?" said Tara, a little surprised.

"I used to see them about the college together. He used to try and attract my attention too you know that funny wink thing they do that they think is subtle but looks like lazy eye? I don't see the attraction at all; she's such a mouse. I used to think he was cute and when they broke up, I thought I might try him out but he went so weird after the break-up kept showing up at the meetings trying to speak to her. Now he wants to join, although God knows why. Come to think of it he started harassing me around the time Christine left. You don't think they killed her, do you?"

"I suppose its possible, right?" answered Tara, looking to Willow for a further explanation.

"Sure, but then it's also possible that she went for a swim and was gobbled up by a peckish fish man, this is Sunnydale after all." said Willow. "Nicole, where does she live?"

"No idea, probably involved with another nut-job by now. Look just don't mention this to anyone, the pair of them can just go to hell as far as I am concerned. They both have a truckload of bad vibes coming their way!" Nicole snarled.

"Silent but deadly, I'm sure their aura's are quaking with fear right now" noted Willow as she took Tara's hand and started to leave.

"Aren't you worried about her or what she might do?" said Tara as they walked across the campus and safely out of Nicole's earshot. 

"You're kidding" smiled Willow. "You know Nicole, she's hardly the Wicked Witch of the West. I mean what's she gonna do, glare at them? Isn't it great though? A real mystery, there hasn't been any excitement around here for ages, just school, not that lessons aren't interesting though, I mean it can get pretty racy in calculus sometimes."

"How can this be unexciting, I mean, I've had the most dangerous year of my life, I never even knew that werewolves existed but I was almost a dogs dinner a while ago. I'm happy with the quiet, thank you!" replied Tara. 

"Oh, I like the quiet too but the Scooby stuff is way exciting, I'm so buzzed right now. This must be how Sherlock Holmes felt just before starting a big case. It's been a hectic year but amongst all the scary stuff there was something that was even more dangerous," said Willow, coyly.

"Only one? I mean I could think of three at least, those weird voice-stealing guys, Adam the Franken-GI Joe…" 

"I met you," Willow interrupted with a smile, squeezing Tara's hand and entwining their arms, "all this stuff has only started happening to me since we hooked up, honest."

"Smoothie" Tara grinned.

"You think so? Cool, I've never been smooth before, I'm usually just…splintery."

"Oh, you were so smooth, Bogart would've been way proud" Tara replied, smiling and bouncing slightly as she walked. " So you think this might be a Scooby thing then?"

"Perhaps, do you know where Solstice lives?" Willow asked.

"Never spoken to her much, keeps herself to herself. Not in a Norman Bates kinda way though, she seems nice."

"Looks like its time for my super secret identity to be shed and Net Girl to appear again," laughed Willow.

"Do you have like a cool costume with keys all over it? Or…or a phone booth to change in?" asked Tara

"Nope, just my Willow Wear and a quick change in the empty classroom in the science lab. Curse the invention of the cell phone!" she smiled.

"Shouldn't we call Buffy though?" Tara asked with a slightly worried look. She preferred Willow to take a back seat when monster work had to be done.

"Buffy should have a break after all that Adam stuff and anyway we have no reason to think there's anything slightly supernatural about this. I just wanna ask Solstice about her ex and that's all. Anything slightly ectoplasmy and we call in the troops, ok?" 

"Ooh, hey we could be Cagney and Lacey!" Tara said excitedly.

"Y'know I always wondered about those two" Willow added, with a slight hint of innuendo, "I'll need my laptop first though."

"That's ok, I wanna check up on Miss Kitty Fantastico anyway. I worry when we're out for a long time. Do you ever wonder what she gets up to?"

"Probably gets in a whole load of her kitty friends and rocks to hot jazz music with Thomas 'O' Malley the alley cat," replied Willow with a large grin.

"I told you not to give her piano lessons" Tara smiled back.

An hour later both Willow and Tara stood outside of number sixty-five Madison Hall, filled with trepidation about going inside.

"Are-are you sure this is the one?" asked Tara, clenching Willows hand more tightly than usual as she starred at the faded blue door. The only ID was a rusting set of metal letters; otherwise it was fairly plain but noticeable in a hallway that was awash with posters, nameplates and other personal symbols.

"Sixteen Green's on campus, Ten guys, six girls and only one 'S', Sonia. All the other data checks out, this is our gal," Willow replied.

"So-so do we knock or- or smash through, like on 'Cops', " Tara whispered.

"We knock, it's what civilised people do. We could just be passing by, right, just dropping in on a friend for some coffee and light conversation?"

"A friend who we've barely spoken to let alone know the address of. What are we gonna say? 'We wanted to get to know you so much we hacked into your record on the college computers'. She could think we're y'know weird and we've come to kill her or-or she might lure us in and-and try to kill us herself," fretted Tara.

"And the hackers get hacked. I hate these ironic deaths. Calm down, sweetie, I'm sure she's not…" 

"…Violent, are you sure?" Tara finished off her girlfriend's sentence. " I suppose, I mean we don't even know the facts right? Despite all the 'hey I'm a scary loner' signs."

"This is silly, we've faced scarier moments than this? I mean Hello werewolf!" Willow added and gingerly knocked on the door. 

A long pause followed but the girls knew that somebody was inside by the amount of noise, even tiny floorboard creeks or shuffling about, that was going on. Eventually it was opened and the tenant stood in the doorway with a surprised look on her face. Solstice was a few inches smaller than Tara and had long, dark brown hair cascading down just past her shoulders covering her T-shirt. The shirt emblazoned with a 'No Doubt' logo on a black background fitted loosely over her but matched her dark green cargo pants and sneakers. A small henna tattoo could be seen under her sleeve as well as a couple of piercings on various body parts such as a stud on her nose. Solstice's face, which was small with doe-like brown eyes, was ashen; shocked rather than delighted to see her callers, as she waited for them to say the first word. 

Willow finally spoke after she realised no one else was going to.

"Hey, remember us from the Wiccan meeting? I'm Willow and this is Tara. We're just visiting…I mean that is Nicole asked us to call in on the members and…" she stumbled to find something to say. Tara, meanwhile was searching her bag for anything that could present them with a reason, a schedule or some kind of item, she found a couple of small yellow candles that were left over from a previous spell which she pressed firmly into Willow's hand.

"…Candles," said Willow, partly surprised at the items herself. "Special Happy Candles to celebrate the end of semester. They are enchanted with…er…a special love spell. Hey, give one to someone you love and they will have happiness and joy in their lives all year round" she smiled, passing them on to Solstice who examined them for a moment. 

"Wow thanks, I love them," she said, tears starting to form in her eyes as she clenched her hand around the sticks.

"Ooh and hey they'll come in real handy if the guys in Lowell short circuit the campus again," Willow added.

" You said these were enchanted? Did you two sort of do these yourselves? You do don't you? Real spells not like Nicole's good karma chant?" asked Solstice, brightening up and firing questions at them like a Gatling gun.

"Kinda…I suppose" began Tara, not quite knowing how much to describe their activities over the past year.

" Cool" Solstice interrupted. " I'd hoped everyone was going to be like us when I joined the group but y'know, I mean the first meeting I went to had just a couple of chants and then there was a 'Bewitched' marathon. I'm Solstice by the way did I mention that? Would you maybe come inside and tell me all about the candle spell? Please?" her eyes had a kind of begging look in them, like a lost puppy seeking someone to befriend her.

"Sure, we'd love to" smiled Willow. " I think I like her after all," she whispered to Tara as they were ushered inside " oh and 'Bewitched' marathon?"

"You were away fighting some icky demon thing, it was Nicole's response to protests for more witchy-like activities" Tara replied in similarly hushed tones.

The room itself was quite Spartan with hardly any personal effects or touches. Two beds occupied the room along with a range of old wooden items, probably culled from various family homes, including shelves and a wardrobe. The walls were beige and carried a couple of posters of grunge rock bands. The girls were ushered onto a comfortable looking, if fairly old, green sofa while their hostess pulled up a chair.

" So…Solstice, that's an interesting name," said Willow, a little uneasily.

"It's really Sonia," she blushed " changed it once I got here. It's sort of more mysterious y'know but hey, I love Willow, great name!"

"Hey thanks, all original I'm pleased to say. I owe it all to my parents along with my hair, feet and the ability to touch my nose with my tongue. So do you have a roommate at all?" she replied.

" I shared with Christine, the girl who went missing. Guess she liked me so much she ran away." She hung her head and lowered the tone of her voice. "I'd rather not talk about it though."

" That's ok, we understand, you know you can talk to us about her if you want, or, or need to" said Tara, gently touching her knee but Solstice shuffled away quickly. 

"I'm sure she'll turn up sooner or later, I mean it's not like she's been swallowed up by some giant hole full of…"began Willow.

"What she means is that she'll be back here in no time. We met her b-brother earlier, you went out together didn't you?" said Tara.

"Oh him. Yeah, when Christine went missing it sort of broke us up."

"Did she d-disapprove of you? Did they row? I know me and my b-brother fought all the time," Tara continued.

"Was he the violent type? Did he try to hurt either of you?" added Willow.

"No they got on fine, very similar. Why all the questions anyway? I said I j-just don't want to talk about him or her or either of them anymore! Can we just talk about the spell?"

"Oh…ah…I don't remember, sweetie do you?"

"No…I y'know we really have to get going, I'm sorry" said Willow.

" No, I'm sorry, please don't leave!" Solstice pleaded.

"It's not you, really we have to get going and deliver the rest of these candles, next it's…er"

"…Sabrina" Tara finished off as Willow took her hand and started to inch towards the door. "I'll bring the spell to the next meeting, ok"

" See you next week!" shouted Willow as they left, hurrying down the stairs until they were out of sight.

" She wasn't that scary, in fact she was sort of nice," said Tara as they stood between floors. "Do you think we have her all wrong? Do you think we worried her? We should go back." 

"Yes, I do think, I think a lot. I can't believe I've been so blind," said Willow starting to get flustered. " I see death, murder and dark magic's everywhere. Christine's just missing and Solstice is a victim, she…oh no we really must've upset her. Her roommate's disappeared, she just broke up with her boyfriend and we just went in and…" Tara put her arm around Willow's shoulder and ushered her onto one of the steps.

"Sweetie, you didn't know, ok, but you can be a little blinkered sometimes. It's like y'know a cop show where the detective has like one suspect in mind but no one believes him until he gets fired off the case and pursues it and turns out to be right all along. I'm sure you're right but you just have to see things in normal-vision sometimes, not everything's magic or demon related. Anyhow I'm not so sure you were wrong."

"Ok, mildly comforted, justification now please?" said Willow with a half smile, resting her head against her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Well Nicole said Solstice and Chris went out t-together but, I think that Solstice is…she's kinda…gay…I mean it's just my opinion for what it's worth."

"You have gaydar? Aww that's so cute."

" I-It's just that when I touched her, I felt something. I think she has something to hide to; we just need to dig a bit more. What do you think?"

"I think Bogart would be proud of you too but I'd still feel better if we went back and apologised," added Willow standing up.

"No, no apologies, home now. Apologise when we know we're wrong" replied Tara ushering her in the opposite direction.

"Home, where we live. The two of us?"

"I knew it! I knew us moving in together bothered you!"

"No I-I'm just worried about Solstice. I'm perfectly happy, honestly" Willow replied.

"So it is the move?" said Buffy pushing open the door to The Magic Box the next day.

"I don't know, I think so," replied Willow in a worried tone of voice. " A move is just so final you know it's like four walls for the rest of your life no matter how much you decorate."

"Will, this is bringing new heights to your wiggins, it's only a dorm room. Wow, lucky we didn't have this out when you moved in with me, I certainly would've re-allocated the sharp objects pretty sharpish."

"But that was the friend move, best buds bunking up together, this is the relationship move. I love Tara; I couldn't wish for a better girlfriend, she's my everything. I'm just so scared, I thought, I mean I wanted commitment. Back in high school if Xander had just asked me out, if we had been together I would've booked the wedding the next day. I want a family, I want babies but now that it's actually starring me in the face I just…" Willow sat down at a table beginning to sob slightly. She picked up a crystal necklace and gazed into it as if trying to see her future.

"Aaah it's just nerves, major case of butterflies in your belfry."

"Stomach."

"Apologies, metaphor drive needs rebooting, " continued Buffy, "It all comes down to the million dollar question, who do you want to live with? Your parents?"

"And continue sneaking around when I want to go out? No way hosé!"

"Then it's either me, hot slayer gal, or…"

"…Tara defiantly," smiled Willow.

"Ok a little more thinking time might've been easier on the old ego but job done nonetheless," replied Buffy, a little mock sadly. Willow had a big grin on her face now as she reached a realisation. Just thinking that she might be separated from Tara, to not be lying beside her in bed at night, wasn't worth thinking about at all.

"Buffy I don't mean it like that, you're my best friend and you always will be but I…" she began, clasping her friend's hands.

"It's ok, you just have a major Jones for this girl, yeah I understand, kinda. Well I don't really I suppose I never felt or thought about that kind of stuff before" Buffy added, blushing."

"Neither have I before I just fell in love like everyone else, does this still freak you?"

"Not 'freak', I don't like 'freak' such a harsh word. It just kinda spaces me out is all. I can't understand it but I want to, for you, I don't want to lose you over this, Will. You'll just have to be prepared for a Buffy blankout every now and then if things get a little heavy. I mean who am I to talk about who you should love, I fell for a dead guy and one of my mortal enemies, who could've seen that twist."

"I understand, Buffy. I didn't do this to annoy you y'know or to be 'hip'. It wasn't like I was watching 'Ellen' one night and I thought 'hey I'll try some of that' like it just struck me one…" she slumped to the right of the table after receiving a blow to the back of the head by the elbow of a male consumer. Upon seeing what had happened he quickly dived behind a couple of bookcases, trying to keep out of sight.

"You ok, Will?" asked Buffy; feeling the back of her friend's head for bleeding or bumps, "Jerk!" she shouted.

" I'm still standing, lucky I need a haircut. Who was that guy? Where did he go?" Willow replied clutching her head.

"I've got a feeling he'll be back soon," added Buffy catching sight of the infamous arm and administering a sharp kick to the side of a bookcase causing a domino effect onto three more. The guy ran out with a frightened look on his face as he caught sight of Buffy. She ran towards him, grabbed his arm and used it to force him up against the wall. 

"Buffy!!" hissed Willow, indicating over to the hawk eyed counter assistant.

"I'm a cop, um, in training. We are, all three of us. Just bought the training manual and eager to get started straight away," Buffy tried to explain.

The assistant frowned and went back to reading her magazine while waiting for someone to serve. 

"She obviously never saw Police Academy 8: Magic Box Brawl" added Buffy feeling a sharp kick at her knee from her captive.

"Now that wasn't very gentlemanly was it?" she replied strengthening her grip on him. "I think you better apologise to my friend."

Willow stood up still clutching her head. "Chris is-is that you?" she asked.

"Willow, hey" Chris replied, looking happy to see her. " Look I'm sorry, I was just in a rush, please tell Xena to let me GO!"

"You know this Dick Dastardly?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah we met at college the other day when he tried to join my Wiccan group. Remember I told you about him, his sister disappeared."

"Is this the guy you think killed her? Is this true?" asked Buffy still pinning him to the wall with one hand. "Did you commit Sistercide?"

Chris looked visibly nervous although that may have been the pain he was feeling in his limbs from Buffy's restraint. Willow noticed the look in his eyes and what was behind them. In addition to her powers she had also developed some psychic skills along the way. Sometimes she could sense when the doorbell, or the phone, was about to ring mere seconds before. Concentrated she was sure she could even read minds but somehow amongst all her abilities she wasn't sure how she knew it but:

" You're Christine aren't you?" came out of her mouth, said almost without thinking. "That's it! That's it! Why didn't I see it?"

" Perhaps because it's just a teeny bit out there, Will," replied Buffy "are you sure about this? I mean you can't just Abracadabra and change sex that takes mucho surgery. I thought you said he was her brother anyway?"

"No, no he's not" Willow continued with a glint in her eyes as all the pieces slotted into place in her mind. Buffy knew that look all too well from various Scooby adventures or whenever she was finishing a Nancy Drew book. A moment of clarity backed up by the facts that were already in place.

"I checked the student records and Christine was an only child. If she's brotherless then there can only be one explanation for his appearance and Christine's bracelet on his arm"

"Yeah, John Doe here killed her," replied Buffy "I still kinda think your tripping out here!"

"There's no Christopher Eastly registered with Sunnydale U. There's a Christine Eastly, a 5ft 6 blonde with blue eyes and I'm looking straight into them right now, I just know it!"

"That's crap! Ahhhhhrg" shouted Chris as Buffy twisted his arm once more.

"Remember when Giles turned into a demon? You could see it was him behind all those scales, hooves and demony things. This is the same thing, except with more hair," protested Willow.

"But I knew Giles" Buffy replied " four years it's been since he Lambeth walked his way into my life. I've seen him at his best, worst and all the inbetweeny times. You said you barely knew this girl when she was…less hairy."

"I'm just so sure, Buffy. The look," Willow added quietly dampening her enthusiasm briefly. "I can't prove it though."

"I can," said Buffy more determinedly with a tone that Willow knew she was backing her up. Buffy lifted Chris higher and let him drop into a heap on the floor. Gradually he lifted himself up and started flicking his hair about until it was in more or less the same style it was when he entered the shop.

"And there's your proof!" Buffy stood, arms folded with a smile on her face.

"So I just like taking care of my hair," rasped Chris, his voice slightly hoarse from the floor dust.

"Oh I know a girlie flick when I see it!" added Buffy grabbing Chris's arm again and marching him towards the exit.

"Ok, ok it is me. I would've told you earlier but I just thought you'd think I was whacko if I spilled" he moaned.

"See, instant confession – just add violence," added Buffy to the ecstatic Willow." If shes are changing into hes then it's raining men out here."

"Hey wait, yay and all but what are we going to do? Where are we going to take him?" said Willow suddenly concerned. 

"Nowhere near me" scowled Buffy looking at her watch. " I have training with Giles who will turn back into a demon if I'm late."

"I'll take him back to Tara's, it should be ok," added Willow. 

"Back to yours, it's your apartment too now, Willow," said Buffy trying to comfort her.

"Yay, everyone back to my place then!" said Willow half-heartedly. 

Tara took three glasses from the wooden cupboard above her head and filled them with orange juice, adding a couple of ice cubes and curly straw to each. Next she put them onto a battered tray with a faded picture of the Muppets on the bottom and felt afraid to turn around and face the inevitable confrontation. Behind her, sat on a couple of coloured beanbags, were Chris and Willow feeding each other scraps of conversations, not too sure how to get started. Tara put the tray down in the middle and sat next to Willow, who could feel how nervous she was, sitting quite rigidly and holding her hand tightly as a sign of reassurance. 

"So, how's…the bag?" Tara asked. "Is it comfortable enough? Not too beany is it? Or not enough? I could add more beans if…if you…I have some more around here I think."

"Bag's fine, thanks" Chris answered plainly. Willow noticed how his eyes were darting around the room in a pattern but somehow always came back and focused on the same spot. 

"I – I don't mean to be impolite or-or anything but are you, sort of, looking down my top?" Tara asked shakily.

"Sorry, I didn't mean… I wasn't aware that…" mumbled Chris turning away from her and blushing slightly. Tara got up, went over to the closet and put on a chunky pink jumper. She was wearing a long, blue denim skirt and a red top that was lower cut and slightly tighter than she was used to as she told Willow when she bought it at her insistence. Willow had put on her 'puppy dog' face, the one that she couldn't say no to, and the one that was now wearing a frown with eyes shooting daggers aimed at Chris.

"You don't know what it's like" was the first line he said in his defence.

"I know you, maybe not as well as some of the others," said Willow, her words coming through gritted teeth, " but you were never like this, never brash, violent and surly."

"Guess things are different now, guess I'm a different sort of girl than I used to be" he started off calmly but his voice rose with anger. " Do you think a person can go through this sort of change and still be exactly the same? I'm still a Wiccan, I still love hearing the thunder and lightning raging outside while I'm tucked up in bed and I still love cuddling up with someone to MASH reruns whether or not they carry an X or Y chromosome!" he said barely looking up and trying to avoid their gaze. 

" So what's the problem I mean we could fix it? This is a spell right so there must be a counter spell or antidote or something?" said Willow.

"Are you powerful enough to do that?" Chris said looking up.

"Willow's way powerful," smiled Tara." She can conjure stuff up out of thin air and…and make it disappear again. She could beat anyone in the group, broomsticks at dawn." 

"Big deal" he muttered.

" Well that's not all but I can certainly do this, give me a chance," Willow pleaded.

Chris sipped some of his juice and replaced the glass on the tray.

"It's not easy being a man and believe me I heard that line many times before, the testosterone, its madness. Sex is everywhere and its all consuming in a way that I never found it before. When I first woke up like…like this it was just so weird."

" I can change that, don't worry I'll find the counter spell, I can look through books, talk to people. Like Giles, I could talk to Giles he has a virtual library of supernatural books, well like a normal library really but more like Dr Jekyll's," said Willow.

"But what if I don't want to changed back?" Chris added with a slight smile and flicker of embarrassment. 

"I-I don't understand," said Tara.

" The only reason I'm talking to you now is that you guessed my secret, I didn't want to tell anyone just make a new start. I stand by what I said before it's not easy being a guy or going through this weirdo change. I hated it when I first woke up like this two weeks ago but once I got used to it I started to love it. When I first got together with Shelley, my first girlfriend, we found it hard to walk down the street together, we both came from this tiny town in Ohio, we were starred at, we were called fags and once the girls at school found out I just couldn't handle it, not back then. I feel more confident now but I decided to stick to guys until I came to Sunnydale. I mean I like guys but here I had more freedom and now I feel like a weight has been lifted. I can walk down the street with a girl and no one looks twice. I can do practically anything, I feel stronger."

Silence broke out.

Willow was so set on what she knew and what she thought she had to do that she didn't really know how to reply.

" Have either of you wanted a new start or reached a moment when life got too much to bear like when you were a kid and you just wished you could run away from it all?" he went on, feeling glad that to be talking and that he finally had someone to open up to.

"I have" piped up Tara " well I did when I was younger. I used to dream about waking up somewhere else in another body, I didn't wanna be famous like 'I want to wake up and look like Cindy Crawford!' or anything. Just someone anonymous, a face in the crowd but I could be free and do what I like too."

"Was it your family, it's just that you never mention them?" asked Willow.

"I-I just didn't want you to worry. Everything's fine it's just that we don't…"

"…Get along" Chris finished. "My folks were never overjoyed at me, I was, like, an accident, a drunken clinch at a New Years party. Not to mention when some local nose told them about Shelley, they were glad when I shipped off to Sunnydale and so was I. Now I can live my life like I wanted and they can have rid of the daughter they never wanted so it's all round goodness. Christine Eastly is dead. Long live Chris Eastly!" a tinge of sadness could now be heard in his voice. 

"Wow! I mean I was unhappy with my family but to go to these kind of lengths it's just, wow, I wouldn't want even know where to begin to look for a spell like that," said Tara.

"You think I did this! I mutilated myself just because of my family!" he shouted back. "I may have been unhappy but I would never even consider this as a solution, I have no where near the power to begin with! It was Sonia, my roommate!"

"Solstice, are you sure?" asked Willow.

"Is that what she decided to call herself? It was Moon Pixie for a while, or Soylent. Yeah she cast the spell and it was the reason we broke up. When we first moved in together I felt a spark. She was so attentive, constantly asked questions and we went everywhere together so I decided to make a move one night after some party, never mix Sangria with Gatorade by the way, I touched her leg and told her how I felt but she insisted she was straight. A couple of days later I woke up like this and she seemed as shocked as I was, seemed shocked, but she helped me through it and even got me some new clothes. A pink teddy isn't really the right look for a guy." 

Willow giggled " I know, there was this one Halloween years ago when Xander was looking for something to wear to go trick or treating, anyway he started rifling through my closet and came to this frilly petticoat that Grandma had…"

"Not the time, sweetie" interrupted Tara, patting her knee. "So Solstice was now interested in you?" she added turning to Chris.

"She defrosted like ice in the desert, now she was all over me, total surprise after days of silence. I still liked her so I thought I'd go for it plus it was something holding me in place after my world was turned upside down, hell I didn't even know who I was anymore but as soon as things started to get cosy she turned ice queen again. Then she tells me I should be grateful because she was responsible for this!" he answered sounding both angry and sad.

Chris looked glad to be telling his story and after another round of drinks he left, thanking them both for their honesty, advice and listening to him, forcing his story out and making him confront it. Willow closed the door, stood with her back to it and started thinking about what he said.

"Lost in space?" said Tara after a few minutes.

"Valley of lost thoughts and possibilities," came the reply.

"So where do we go from here?"

Willow started walking around the room and thinking out loud.

"She must be quite powerful to do morphing spells but perhaps this is just a one-off thing, perhaps there is nothing we can do or worry about."

"But what she did was wrong, we can't allow her to get away with it!" Tara strongly argued. "What if she's like a really powerful witch, what if she gets a kick out of it? Within a year half the sorority houses could be frats or vice versa!"

"I don't see what we can do if Chris doesn't want to be turned back into a girl, we don't know why Solstice did it or even if she's the next big bad. I don't really wanna call in Buffy over this and we don't even know if she's done anything else so…we should find out! Total light-bulb moment! The next meeting's coming up soon right? So we just have to befriend her a little," said Willow with glee. 

Tara didn't look too convinced "I don't know, what if she gets suspicious?"

"She won't and if we can just start her talking about it perhaps we can help. I still can't believe she's a threat and if not we can stop her like we always do…like Buffy always does but with our help anyway witches are our department."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, Sneaky Pete" smiled Tara

"And you know who I want to keep closest of all" Willow replied, draping her arms around Tara's neck and giving her a peck on the cheek. 

Daughters of Gaia student meeting, Stevens House, UC Sunnydale – 23rd May 2000

"Ok, what about that guy at the top of the stairs?"

"Why?"

"Well he…has a bright coloured shirt, not many guys wear lilac."

"Don't think so," replied Tara shaking her head. Once more they were sitting in the familiar circle of chairs waiting for Nicole to start the meeting, she was sitting in the centre fiddling with a hot pink ring binder stuffed with notes.

"Girl coming through the door holding the blue bag with the sunflower on it? Picking up a definite vibe this time," said Willow rubbing her temples with her fingers and looking at Tara to confirm with a note of pleading in her voice.

"Jenny Johnston? She 's been married for three months," came the reply with a slight laugh " and she's been pregnant for five!"

"Just deep denial" said Willow screwing up her face as she appealed to her girlfriend but Tara just rolled her eyes. Willow had been trying to prove she had gaydar for the last few days and it had begun to get on her nerves even though she found it sweet that she was trying so hard to prove that she could. No one had ever tried so hard to be like her before or even do things especially for her. For instance, right now she was wearing a chunky rainbow coloured cube bracelet that Tara knew she disliked but wore it anyway just for her. With that kind of love perhaps she could put up with anything.

"Ok, one more try before N-Nicole finds the agenda," she smiled back.

"Yay! Solstice do you wanna try?" added Willow turning to her left where Solstice was sitting. The three girls had made little conversation despite Willows constant tries. 

"I- don't know really, it's not my sort of thing," she stammered, blushing slightly.

"Hey don't worry it's only a game, go on have a guess," she continued softly. 

"How about that girl there, over the other side with…with the purple streaks in her hair and the green eyes. I think she looks so cool!" Solstice whispered back with a slight grin and increased blush. The girl was a sultry, dark haired Goth, dressed in black combat pants and a black string top over a black bra, reading a book of poetry. Solstice had been looking at her for most of the meeting.

"Who Rachel? I don't really think she…" replied Willow.

"Hey I think you're right, I'm totally getting that vibe too," smiled Tara making Solstice blush again, start giggling and burying her head in her hands. Willow looked slightly narked but congratulated her with the good grace of a losing Academy Award nominee.

"Ladies, ladies attention!" cried Nicole standing up and clapping her hands " once again my parking space has been taken by a red VW Beetle with a Snoopy doll in the rear window. That space has been legally mine since August 16th 1999 and I have a piece of paper signed by the Dean to say so!"

Various murmurs were heard from the crowd ranging from how correct Nicole was to speak out, what a waste of time it all was and the parking space's close proximity to the football team's changing room being a reason why she wanted it back so badly. The rumours, for quite some time now, varied from that Nicole had a crush on one of the players, a Danny Silverman, to the fact that she had found a hole in the wall. Nicole denied any such rumours and was adamant that it was the space's closeness to a flower garden she liked to meditate near was the reason why she loved it.

"That auto monstrosity was put there to mock me, violate my personal space, upset my chi and disrupt my otherwise good karma. My analyst says that if this carries on much longer…" She lapsed into a long speech before starting the meeting properly covering topics such as the upcoming fundraiser and last weeks 'Charmed' episode. 

Twenty minutes later the meeting was closed and the participants started to leave. Solstice seemed quite nervous throughout, fiddling with her hair, rubbing her stomach slowly and taking occasional sips from a small box of juice. A box that she seemed to forget she had when she stood up to leave and it flew from her lap, spun sideways and splattered over the long green patterned skirt that Willow was wearing.

"Eww!" she cried out as the purple stain spread. "Revenge of the Ribenaberries!" 

"Oh no I'm so, so sorry!" cried Solstice grabbing a tissue from her bag and started clearing it up. "Please come up to my room and I'll maybe put it in the washer and dry it too and give you something else to wear. I'll pay, please, I insist!" she sounded very distressed.

"Ok, well if it is only for a few minutes," replied Willow. This was it, Willow and Tara had been trying to make a connection with Solstice all afternoon, aiming to find some way to get back into her room to check out her spell books. Giles had given her a list of the really dangerous ones to look out for but Willow had her own system though, usually how heavy and Gothicky looking the books were the more terrible the incantations contained inside would be. Tara caught sight of Chris out of the corner of her eye as he tried to attract her attention without drawing Solstice's. Not an easy thing but he was pretty sure he had accomplished it.

Tara acknowledged him and turned to Willow, "you go get whiter than white, sweetie, I'll just grab a soda and be right up". The couple hugged briefly and Tara watched them disappear out of the door.

"Hey, what was the funny dance for?" she said turning back to Chris.

"I was trying to attract your attention, look I've been trying to remember the spell or ritual Solstice might have used on me, like you said yesterday and I think I've found it. Can we sit down?" he replied taking her hand and leading her over to a large sofa.

"I see you've done very little with the décor," said Willow as she walked through the door and into Solstice's apartment with her hostess following behind shuffling her feet.

"Sorry I'm not much of a decorator" was the reply. "Christine was more of a painter than I was, she was sort of the artist."

"Do you miss her? As a roommate I mean, not as a decorator" Willow asked, walking into the bathroom to change.

"Yeah, every day. Sometimes I occasionally wish she would come back."

"I suppose her brother helped you through it though. He seems like a cool guy."

"He's ok, I think, I guess. We sort of broke up though so I kinda don't see him much. I don't think we really clicked. You know what I mean?"

Willow's hand appeared from inside the bathroom handing Solstice the green and purple bundle that was once her skirt.

"Don't worry I'm sure you'll bounce back and find someone compatible, I've done it before with minimal damage. There's probably someone out there that adores you and you don't even know it yet. Anyone around college you getting the misty eyes for?" she added cheekily. 

" There is someone I kinda had my eye on" Solstice replied with a half smile. 

"I love sofa's like this," said Chris slipping down into the furniture. "All big and smushy like I could just lie here forever, you know, become one with the sofa."

"Chris? Less soft furnishings and more ritual please? Willow's up there alone with her," piped up Tara trying not to be too pushy but still wanting to hurry him along.

"I've been thinking and thinking about it, going over it in my mind and looking through that book you gave me on signs and stuff? Solstice has this old mat with colours and ribbons on it that I recognised. I think it was called a Chikitita?" 

"A Chakirah mat? Oh yeah I know it. Nineteenth century witches used the mat in transformation spells. Willow and I got one in a thrift store for 50 cents," replied Tara.

"Yeah that was it and she had been burning candles too, when I woke up they were the first thing I smelt. Wouldn't have heard anything else though, sound sleeper, takes a handsome prince sometimes."

"That's it! Nothing else?" added Tara sounding quite distressed and standing up to rush to Willow's aid.

"I know not much but just now when I saw her spill that juice I realised that's what she did to me. The night before I changed we got some takeout and she spilt some juice all over my top. An hour later I began to feel woozy and the next thing I remember was when I woke up with way too much body hair than a girl should have," he chuckled to himself and looked across to the empty seat next to him and then to the swinging main door. Tara was already on her way to Madison Hall.

Willow laid on top of one of the beds, underneath a brightly coloured blanket, arms folded under her head and starring up at the ceiling thinking. She thought about how best to approach Solstice when she returned. Buffy would be more direct, or even violent, pinning her to the wall like a cop. Anya would probably just blurt it out "so you're a lesbian are you?" she would say and Xander would be too be thinking about her and any of the other girls in the room 'getting busy' together but how would Willow handle it? She couldn't decide and kept dithering about what was best when it clicked. That was her way of handling things, she thought so long about it until she was forced into a decision or someone else made the choice for her. Solstice's spell books had already received a thorough check, there wasn't too many and they didn't look all that scary, although she couldn't find the ritual she was looking for. The door clunked open and Solstice re-entered the room snapping Willow out of her thoughts.

"Sorry did I wake you?" she asked, putting a plastic bag down on the floor. 

" Nope caffeine power, keeps me bright and perky all day. Essential when you have as many classes as I do" she replied looking at her watch and wondering where Tara was?

"Miss Maclay, can I have a word?"

Tara stopped dead in her tracks halfway between Stevens House and Madison Hall. She turned around to see the stern figure of Miss Monroe, the head of admissions and English. Miss Monroe was a thin, glum looking woman in her mid 30's that emitted little warmth towards those she spoke to. Dressed in a pinstripe pants suit and a white blouse with a short brown crop of hair she clung to a pile of folders and binders like lifeblood. 

"Miss Maclay, if you could please spare me a few moments to sign some papers regarding your lease?" she said in a rather nasally voice.

"I c-can't right now m-ma'am, I have some thing I have to go to. W-Willow needs me" Tara stuttered in reply.

"I'm sure Miss Rosenberg can do without you attached to her hips for a couple of minutes. I don't know you young girls it's like the end of the world to be separated from your friends for even a nanosecond. She's hardly likely to be turned into a toad by your fellow Weird Sisters is she?" Miss Monroe smirked amused by her own reference and aware of Tara's connection to the Wiccan group.

"No, not a toad, not this time" Tara muttered under her breath and following the teacher reluctantly. The spell would take at least an hour to work, Willow was more than capable of handling herself and it wouldn't take long for her to sign some papers. She didn't want to get into trouble but if Willow was harmed in any way she would never forgive herself and Miss Monroe might end up being the one living in a lily pond by the end of the week. 

"Do you have my skirt there? Is it juiceless now?" asked Willow. Solstice blushed slightly and handed her a green bundle and discarded the bag. As Willow unfolded it she swivelled around on the bed, removing the blanket and standing up. She felt a sudden chill and caught a brief sight of herself in the long mirror on the front of a wardrobe, wearing only a light blue top and a pair of white panties. Willow rarely stood starring at herself in mirrors; she would usually find too many things wrong with herself and worry about them for the rest of the day. Lately though, since she had met Tara, she felt a lot more confident and actually thought she looked pretty hot this time and she wasn't the only one who thought so. Solstice was blushing – a lot – like a traffic light stuck on 'stop' not knowing which way to look, never mind making eye contact. Then it hit Willow, like a bolt out of the blue, how she could deal with the situation and it was something she could never have thought of or even considered before.

"Do you find me attractive?" Willow asked turning around to face Solstice with her hands on her hips. The brunette witch didn't answer and barely looked up from her feet.

"No, you're a girl. I-I'm really not gay," she stammered back.

"Then turn around and look at me, look me in the eyes and tell me that!" replied Willow throwing her skirt onto the bed and grabbing the palms of her friend's hands, holding them tightly and feeling the sweat, nerves and heat emitting from them. Solstice wouldn't turn around though and both her head and gaze remained firmly on the ground.

"Hey look at me! Don't be afraid, c'mon look up!" Willow continued in a sterner tone of voice before putting her hand on Solstice's cheek and turning hr head around. " I know, ok, we know. I'm a witch and you don't think I recognise a Chakirah mat when I see it? Tara and I have at home, in purple."

"You have a purple one? I wanted the purple but they only had the red, it was this small magic store in a couple of towns over."

"Oh you should go to the thrift store on Harrison. Now they even have these cool candles that are…really missing the point" Willow hung her head. "We met Chris you know, he's not Christine's brother and never was. He told us everything, what's been happening. You have to stop you know and it ends here, now."

"You know? Is that why you came up here with me today? It is isn't it? You've come to k-kill me haven't you? I-Is your muscle here?" she replied nervously.

"Kill you? With my muscle? I don't understand?" said Willow taking her friend's hands again.

"I've kinda been around too Willow, I sort of know what you do and I've noticed the creepy things that happen here on campus as much as anybody. I purposely wanted to move to Sunnydale to be near to the hellmouth, to all the magic and power. Can you feel it surging through you? I can, I can really feel it, warm and strong, like cocoa really. Anyway whenever these weird things start happening you and your muscle are always about, you know that blond girl who never wears the same thing twice who makes those guys with the permanent frowns disappear. Is she coming to do the same thing to me? 'cause if I burst into flames here the whole block will go up and I wouldn't want that, it's a hundred dollar penalty for lighting fires." She looked and sounded genuinely worried, even apologetic. Willow pulled her closer and tried to think of how to reply.

"Those creatures we destroy are evil though, you just need help I mean I could never kill another human being, my God I would be eaten up by the guilt. Let me help you, please?"

"Help me? How can you help me? All I've done is perform a little magic that's all. You can have all my books and I won't do it again, I promise!" she protested.

"Then tell me why you did it. Let's hear you explain Christine's Victoria/Victor act, you changed her to a guy because you're gay and you can't admit it to yourself!"

"I sort of maybe had feelings for Christine and I just can't explain them. Back in Arizona I lived in a very small town and there was a girl who I went to high school with and she was a real rebel, took all the risks she could. She didn't just kiss a girl, one afternoon they made out in the town centre in front of everyone. I thought it was so cool at the time, trouble was that was the last afternoon anybody saw either of them. When I realised I might have those sorts of feelings I really tried to keep them hidden."

"I'm sorry, that's so awful," Willow added tearfully as she looked into Solstice's big brown eyes, filled with sadness and regret. "So you never kissed a girl, you never even tried?"

"Too scared, still too scared and I know there are girls and guys in college that do, I've seen them, like you and Tara. I really admire you y'know. There's still the fear though, fear that I'll get into trouble but yet I…I just feel, oh I don't know!" she stumbled.

Willow took Solstice's hands and placed them on her hips, just above her panties. She could feel the sweat and nerves in her hands once again and Solstice could feel the same in her as well. Willow had never used her sexuality before. Back in high school it had been Buffy or Cordelia who had used their bodies to maximum effect having most of the boys rush around them drooling, she had never been able to do that no matter how much she had wished. 'The Brain', that's what she was, always the one to come to for tutoring or help with Math homework and English assignments. Being 'The Brain' was good for feminism but didn't exactly massage the ego a lot, which led her to be slightly jealous of Buffy and the others, but at least she was in the position to see what it was like from the other side at last. She felt Solstice's nerves, how she was in control of what they did next. Oz was the first person to make her feel sexy and she hoped to do the same thing for Solstice, bringing her out and hopefully making her feel better, if not it could damage her for good. There was only one way to achieve this that Willow could think of and it both thrilled and frightened her in equal measures. Feeling her body trembling she laid her hands upon Solstice's hips, nudged her closer and planted a small kiss on her lips. As she moved away Solstice moved closer and started kissing her back with a large degree of heat and passion, like a genie that had been let out of its bottle after many years of being cooped up. 

Willow's first thoughts were of Tara and how she was betraying her but she would understand wouldn't she? Jesse and Xander used to throw around scenarios like this while they were bored in class: 'who would you kiss to save the world?' or 'who would you kiss if your life depended on it?' The kiss was so intense and passionate, they could taste each other's breath and both of them were lost in the moment. Solstice didn't even make an attempt to move her hands elsewhere; they seemed rooted to the spot, even with a half naked Rosenberg in front of her. She still lacked the confidence and Willow was grateful for that. It could put her in an even worse situation if she did. Then a hand began to creep up her back and into her top, moving around, making Willow feel very awkward so she pulled away. 

"Did-did I do it wrong? Was I ok? It was me wasn't it?" stuttered Solstice, wiping her hair away from her eyes. 

Willow sat down on the edge of one of the beds trying to sort out her head, rubbing her leg to try and generate some heat as well as being a way of expressing her worries. Suddenly she wished she hadn't thrown her skirt away but showing some skin was a way of getting Solstice interested, bringing her out and just look how that turned out. Looking across the room she could only see Tara, standing in the corner smiling sweetly.

"Y-You ok, sweetie?" Tara said standing near the door, except it wasn't Tara. Tara would never wear an oversized purple and black T-shirt like Solstice's, she shook her head and realised that it wasn't her girlfriend, just her hostess, although the voice still persisted.

"Willow? Willow, are you in there?" the voice came from the door.

"Shall I open it?" asked Solstice gingerly, wringing her hands together.

"I…er…no, no you can't I'm all half naked here, Tara might think something's going on!" Willow replied in hushed tones.

" Yeah but something kinda did, didn't it? I thought it did?" came the reply with a half smile.

"Sure if you want to get all technical about it but no" Willow whispered back. "Tara!" she cried out, moving over towards the door.

"Hey, hey you it's good to hear your voice, well all normal sounding not low and growly. Sorry I'm so late I just ran into Miss M-Monroe and…and…" Tara's voice grew more jumpy and excited.

"Shhh, don't worry, baby, I'm fine. Don't worry we're just talking, sitting apart and talking, I think I've made progress" Willow whispered back. "Could you give us ten minutes, I'll explain all I promise." It broke her heart to send Tara away especially at a time when she felt that she needed her so much.

"Hey why would my voice be low and growly?"

"I thought you knew, oh God you d-don't know do you? The juice is some kind of potion, she brought you up here to Manimalise you!" Tara's voice grew quieter. "You sure you're gonna be ok? I should stay, please can I stay?" 

"I'll be fine, just break down the door if you hear a football game on the TV."

"I'll be right here if you need me," added Tara sitting down cross-legged outside the door with her heart pounding away like a drum.

Willow turned around with her back to the door and looked over at Solstice who was standing by her bed starring at the floor.

"You wanted me? I was going to be next!" she shouted.

"You said you knew all about it, about everything!" she pleaded. "Just now when we kissed it was wonderful, I've never experienced anything like it!"

"So, is it reversible? How long do I have?" said Willow.

"Potion seeps in through the skin but it's harmless without the spell being performed while you're lying on the mat. It's safe although you may smell like Old Spice for a couple days." 

"That's a relief. So what about Chris?" Willow asked softly. Solstice grew quiet once more. "That's why you broke up with him isn't it? Things just weren't the same?"

"My mom taught me some spells when I was growing up, just simple stuff but I grew more involved. When I first met Christine I looked, I searched frantically for a spell that would help me through it, to take away my feelings, make me normal. I found the metamorphosis spell in and thought that it was the perfect way, she would never know and I could be with her without looking like…y'know. You're right it wasn't the same and whatever there was to begin with suddenly disappeared, if that makes sense, but with you it was so much better. If we…" replied Solstice.

"No, no we defiantly no plurals of any kind. I have a girlfriend and I'm very happy," stressed Willow. "I was only trying to help you out and I think in a way I did. It wouldn't make any difference if I was a man or, or if I was a monkey. You kissed a girl and you liked it so you make the connection."

Solstice sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at her feet trying not to look at Willow directly. "So what now?"

Willow went through what she could say and couldn't think of a decent explanation apart from the one she was rehearsing to tell Tara when news of the kiss came out. 

"Ok…well…first, first you hand me back my skirt because cold, cold and goosepimply" she began, trying to sound commanding yet comforting at the same time. "…And then you have to go out and find somebody, somebody that can give you that zipideedoodah that you need. I can help you if you like; you can talk to me about anything. Is there anyone that you like at the moment?"

"Kinda, I suppose…" blushed Solstice, throwing Willow the green bundle. Willow had a worried look on her face as she started to re-clothe. 

"Not you so don't look so worried you're off the hook. You never have to see me again!" Solstice hissed. "Just someone that I think…that I could…"

Willow sat down beside her on the bed and put her arm around her shoulder. Solstice relaxed for a while before shrugging it off. She couldn't decide whether she wanted Willow's comfort or not and the red-haired witch wasn't sure how much to give her, feeling torn between her and Tara.

"I never meant to hurt you, just show you what you're missing. A few weeks ago I was involved in a major piece of hocus-pocus that involved taking basic elements from all of my friends to make like this super-fighter from Buffy, the blond girl. After the spell was cast we were visited in our dream by a primal slayer, a fighter, who ripped through us taking each element back," Willow started to explain.

"What happened? Was it Freddy Kruger? I had that dream before except I was naked in Math class at the time and Freddy kinda looked my dad."

"We survived, we always do but you know that primal was like my friend, it had her very basic instincts, although she would deny the fashion sense. It taught me one thing and that made living with Tara a whole lot easier because I had the same kind of fears that you have except I already had her. My point is that it's our instincts, our primal urges that decide who we are and we can't change that just think 'oh I've got to go out with him because it's more acceptable." She stood up and led Solstice over to the window and opened it up, looking down on the campus below and all the students going about their various activities. Her friend had tears streaming down her face as she surveyed the ground. 

"Who do you notice?" Willow asked, "Who stands out the most?"

"Girl in the purple top, that woman with the long red hair…erm I don't know what you mean."

"Ok, now what guys do it for you. Look at them all, who makes you feel all squishy, like when you first saw Christine?"

"Guy in the blue jumper, I suppose but none of them really." Solstice looked puzzled.

"There's your answer, pure instincts alone. That shows you who you are down below. I'm sorry it happened this way, Solstice I really am but you have to go for it, no more instant sex changes ok? Seize the day." Willow said softly recalling the words that Buffy had told her nearly four years ago. Words that had nearly got her killed but ultimately she felt had done her good. It felt strange as she looked upon Solstice as herself in high school, before college, before Tara and even before Buffy although it was grad to recall a time pre-slayer. Maybe she was a different person now, she certainly felt more empowered. A Willow that was prepared to take a chance…well, every now and then…and even then if it wasn't too dangerous. A Willow that at one time would have killed for a boyfriend but now had just cheated on her girlfriend, whether or not she liked this new Willow remained to be seen. 

"I don't know. Do you really think I can?" Solstice muttered. "Thanks for all you've done for me, really but could you, sort of, leave, please?" she added emotionlessly. 

Willow, fearing that she was of no use anymore and unwanted, stood up with a painful expression on her face. As she turned her back and prepared to be reunited with Tara she said " Come and talk to me, or Tara, anytime you want." 

Solstice gave a brief snort; small tears still dropping down intermittently down her face and barely looked up from the floor. Willow left the dorm room feeling that she had created more mess than she had set out to clear up.

Daughters of Gaia student meeting, Stevens House, UC Sunnydale – 6th June 2000

Tara approached the familiar circle of chairs with two bottles of mineral water fresh from the nearby vending machine and handed one to a worried looking Willow.

"Is she here yet?" 

" Nope, unless she's invisible. That's it she's here but she's invisible. It's been two weeks now and I'm getting really worried. Ooh I could do a tracer spell!" said Willow raising her hands. " I can find out where she is instantly. Or we could just go up to her dorm room?"

"Sweetie, I'm sure you did your best but maybe she just needs some space right now" came the reply. 

Nicole stood in the centre of the circle once more, preparing her notes.

"Firstly I would like to announce that forthwith I have put a hex on the red VW Beetle that is still parked in my space and it will remain unless said vehicle is moved by…Sister Green and Sister Brooker, you are late! Please take your places," she said in a shrill voice. 

Willow and Tara turned around in unison to see Solstice walk through the double doors with a broad grin on her face, hand in hand with Rachel. The couple looked very much in love with each other and it showed. Solstice had purple streaks in her hair, imitating Rachel's, while her partner was wearing one of her 'No Doubt' t-shirts and they both had matching coloured wristbands on. While Rachel looked no different to her usual self her effect on Solstice was evident, the mousy witch looked happier and wore quite figure hugging clothes including a black mini skirt and patterned tights, showing off her legs. From a girl whose clothes always looked like they were seconds from a large sister the change was quite noticeable. Rachel certainly noticed as she pinched her lover's bottom every couple of minutes causing them both to collapse into giggles. Nicole seemed quite annoyed by the attention being taken away from her. 

"Will you please take your seats for the last time of asking!" she said sternly with her arms crossed. 

"Oh b-bite me, Nicole," muttered Solstice, pulling up a chair next to Willow. Quickly she turned from Nicole's angry glare to face Willow with a broad grin.

"D-did you see me, I mean did you hear me I really said that right? You heard me!" she said rather quickly, turning to Willow and back to Rachel.

"Way to go, babes. Told you, you could," said Rachel, in a thick New York accent, smiling.

"Yeah that was…brave, y'know speaking back like that because some people need that while, while others where only trying to help and…" stuttered Willow.

"What she means is, are you still all Tasmanian devil with her?" interrupted Tara.

" No, no" answered Solstice caressing Willows arm softly. "I understand now why you said what you said and did what you did. I am so glad you did now, you did something that no one else was prepared to do for me and I'll never be able to do the same back. Have you met Rachel? I gave her one of my Special Happy Candles so we'll have love and happiness all year round" she smiled also waving the candle at Nicole and mouthing 'thanks'. Nicole looked bemused and just continued with her announcements.

Willow looked relaxed as the girls swapped gratuities and Tara whispered in her ear about finding a proper happiness spell for the candles.

"Babes, I told you call me Raven now" Rachel added.

"You don't have to do that for me" Solstice replied blushing slightly. 

"I wanna do it, I wanna cool name like yours, dark and mysterious but deadly" her partner replied. 

"It was about a week after we…spoke and I saw her in the lunch room. I remembered what you said and I went over to her table" Solstice said turning to Willow.

"…And you asked her out? After Willow's advice?" asked Tara smiling.

"She got halfway over and stumbled on a bread roll lyin' on the floor, didn't you, goofy?" continued Rachel, moving her chair around so she could be seen. "Food everywhere, like that scene in Animal House. So I had spaghetti in my hair and milk all down my pants, you know when I paid my bill I had the only dollars in tomato sauce, so she offered to clean it off back at her place."

Solstice could sense what the girls were thinking and jumped in. "Don't worry, for real this time, always been a klutz. We started talking, stopped halfway and started to kiss under a tree, it was so so great!"

"I guess I saw something in her. Haven't stopped since then have I, babes?" finished Rachel, giving Solstice a succession of pecks on her cheek.

As the couple continued, much to Nicole's annoyance that her bake-sale plans were once more being interrupted, Tara turned to Willow and whispered: " She seems so much more happier now. One day you will have to tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened, I certainly didn't do anything. I told you I just sat and talked it out with her, just talked like people do when they want to speak about stuff," Willow replied 

"Come on you must have done more than talking, was it a charm or a spell or something? You seem more settled at home now, if a little jumpy, and Solstice is way ecstatic so come on – spill! " Tara added, resting her head on Willow's shoulder.

"Oh it's just an ordinary girl meets girl story" came the short, shaky reply.

The End 


End file.
